The Jokes and Nothing but the Jokes~

NEW JOKE





LARRY!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Love Ya Man ( NOT IN A GAY WAY) AKA NIAGW

HUH????

I was calling you A JOKE!!! LOL

Love Ya Man ( NOT IN A GAY WAY) AKA NIAGW[/quote]

I got that part i was talking about this part

NIAGW is from another thread when some one said I LOVE YOU MAN not in a gay way!

Jeffro wrote:

NIAGW is from another thread when some one said I LOVE YOU MAN not in a gay way!

lmao ohhh NIAGW got it now wow swear i had blonde roots on top meees noggin somtimes.

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son..


Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie


At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.


That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you,
Vinnie

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Chicago. Nothing is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window.

The driver rolls down his window and asks, 'What happened, what's the hold up?'

'Terrorists have kidnapped Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Rosie O'Donnell, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. They are asking for a $10 Million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection.'

The driver asks, 'On average, how much is everyone giving?'

'About a gallon'

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized
I desperately needed to fart.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better.
I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was
staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to
my I-Pod.

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him...
Like his mother used to do.

so all you got is jokes.... where is you just posting in normal threads!!!! LOL good one thou

Just to let you know we have a joke thread that you could have put these in!!!! Come on Chief Pay attention!!!! LOL hehehhehehehehhee

The first blond guy joke !


The very first ever Blonde GUY joke..... And well worth the wait!

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican! opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.


The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.




The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

(Oh this is GOOD!!)?

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,


"Don't look at me. The idiot makes his own lunch."

What to do on an airplane when you find yourself seated next to a real jerk:

1. Take out your laptop.

2. Slowly open your laptop.

3. Turn it on.

4. Make certain your neighbor is watching.

5. Open your Internet browser.

6. Close your eyes for a few moments.

7. Open your eyes and look up to the the heavens while mumbling incoherently.

8. Breathe deeply and open this site: http://www.myit-media.de/the_end.html

9. Look at the expression on your neighbor's face.

10. Sit back, relax and enjoy the rest of the flight.