I had surgery a week ago Monday.

Hi my friends. Those who closely know me know I am shy about asking for emotional help when I am feeling down (depressed).

Last Monday I had surgery on my lower stomach. There were some rather nasty fat cells which needed to be removed. I was told I would be in pain for a few weeks, which they didn't lie... I'm popping Oxycodon like "House"... not really. As I said earlier I rarely ask for help in these kinds of things but I do need your help. I need to joke around a bit top get my mind back in the gutter and out of depression. Thank you guys and girls. So here they are.

Joel, you're too young... go to bed and sleep like a normal teenager.... take the other hand... the one you're not using and write to me.

Jeffo, just be yourself and I know I'll be fine. I had a dream the other night we brought the Plymouth down and you liked it.... do you see it anywhere?

Ted, hey where the hell are you... I need someone with good color matching skills. My tummy looks like something Salvador Dali painted.

jjski, You know I can't really think up a smart a$$ response here, so you make one up.

Old Chinese Proverb When chicken is plucked and bare... it doesn't care anymore if everyone sees what sex it is.

Old Russian Proverb When blowing your nose in winter, turn your back to the wind... this way you may get more out of what you're trying to do.


Old Cletus and Erle Proverb What the hell is she talkin' 'bouts? Dang I never knode there were so many proverbrail thangs... only the ones Emma says lac,

If'in y'all doesn' do what she axed first, a broom handle's in your future.

Another, don't talk 'bouts 'er butt.... I don't gets that one either.

When Emma has two hands full of groceries an' cain't see, don't say howdy unless you really want to carry those groceries home.

One more an' I gots ta go ta sleep... if'in y'alls sees a butt hunkered over the starter crank on a Deere 20, don't ask anything.

Hmm, sorry you had to have surgery, I'm going in for back surgery on the 4th.

A couple of one-liners

Confuscius say man who stands on toilet is high on pot

man who goes to sleep with itchy butthole wakes up with stinky fingers

I am praying for both of you and hope all ends up well !!!!

Good luck!

Jeffro wrote:

I am praying for both of you and hope all ends up well!!!!

Good luck!

Jeff, is your prayer because of the jokes or the surgeries?

JJski, I pray your back surgery is an easy one. Just take it easy and let others do for you while you recoup.

Old Chinese Prayer:

When your primary parachute doesn't open.... hope there wasn't a cut back.

Hoping that all the surgerys go great with no problems afterwards

HAHA. Let others do for me. I have no one around! The illustrious air force sent my wife to Iraq until January. So I plan on ordering a metric @$$ ton of slim fast shakes, and laying in bed for a few weeks.

jjski78 wrote:

HAHA. Let others do for me. I have no one around! The illustrious air force sent my wife to Iraq until January. So I plan on ordering a metric @$$ ton of slim fast shakes, and laying in bed for a few weeks.

Doesn't the VA have a volunteer nursing program for home care? I would think after all you and your wife are doing for us, someone should do for you while you're down. Oh, careful about the Slimfasts, too many can cause more trips to the latrine than you think. Just think Loosen-All.

That could make for a shitty day!

couldnt have said it better myself!
anyways, hope this finds you feeling better jaclynne just take it easy for a while.
when you go out to the grocery store and what not. this gives you a reason to sit and enjoy your new car while who ever is with you runs in and does all the work!

jaclynn wrote:

jjski78 wrote:

HAHA. Let others do for me. I have no one around! The illustrious air force sent my wife to Iraq until January. So I plan on ordering a metric @$$ ton of slim fast shakes, and laying in bed for a few weeks.

Doesn't the VA have a volunteer nursing program for home care? I would think after all you and your wife are doing for us, someone should do for you while you're down. Oh, careful about the Slimfasts, too many can cause more trips to the latrine than you think. Just think Loosen-All.

No program for people still on active duty, I'm pretty much on my own save for a couple friends in the area.

Funny you say that about the slim fast. One of the possible side effects of my surgery is temporary loss of bowel control. ewwwwww

ok that is kinda nasty!!! good luck!

Well it seems my surgery went well. I lost 15 pounds in the process.. so that's a plus.

JJ, how did your surgery go? I hope all is well.

glad to hear the surgery was a success! and glad to hear your feeling better!

Just got released from the hospital this morning. All the pain in my legs is GONE!! Off course, my back is killing me where they did the surgery. Got some good pain killers though.